Relationships

The Bipolar Relationship: How to Understand, Help, and Love Your Partner
The Bipolar Relationship: How to Understand, Help, and Love Your Partner by Jon P. Bloch, PHD, Bernard Golden, PHD and Nancy Rosenfeld is a very detailed and helpful book meant specifically for romantic partners of bipolar people. Though it contains a large amount of information that could be helpful to an actual bipolar person, the [...]
Edward Cullen and the Allure of Depression
It’s fairly clear at this point that Twilight’s leading vampire, Edward Cullen, is the heartthrob of the generation. Millions of teen and tween girls (along with a not inconsiderable number of women, boys, and men) are obsessed with this brooding, tortured, self-loathing boy, enamored of his darkness. Edward Cullen is in many ways [...]
Stop Fast-Forwarding Your Depression Healing
“You were such a happy baby,” my mom told me on the eve of my 21st birthday. “I’d come into your room in the mornings and you’d be standing there, looking up at me, like, “‘hello!’” My mom smiled slightly, and then promptly started crying. It was all I could do not to join [...]
A Lifetime of Joy after Clinical Depression
This is a true story, as told to us by Alice (not her real name): When I was born my mother was dismayed — she didn’t want a child so soon after marriage and resented the attention I received. She told me several times that I was a mistake and unwanted. She told me that I [...]
The ADHD Marriage
Myrna has been married to Jon for 35 years. Up until eight years ago, they were constantly bickering. As much as they loved each other and their kids, they couldn’t seem to get through a day without arguments and recriminations. She felt constantly let down. He felt constantly nagged. Then he got a diagnosis that [...]
Wedding Planning: A Rehearsal for Marriage
You’re getting married! You and your combination true love, soulmate, and, hopefully, best friend, have talked it out and decided to commit to each other forever. You’ve announced your engagement, celebrated with the important people in your life, perhaps put up with some joking (and maybe some not-so-joking) questions about why you would do such [...]
Dealing with Anger Constructively
We all get angry. But for some people this basic and powerful human emotion is difficult to manage. We may have trouble expressing anger, or even recognizing it in ourselves. On the other hand, it can lead to destructive and violent behavior, frightening people around us and causing friction in relationships. Problems with anger have been [...]
Where Did the Love Go? Growing Up and Growing Apart
When I first met Joel he was 15, embattled with his parents, failing in school, and deeply, desperately in love. Bright, sensitive, and troubled by what he saw as an older generation that simply didn’t get it (“it” being almost anything), he couldn’t be bothered with homework, after-school activities, or a job. Instead, he holed [...]
Relationships and ADHD: Obstacles and Solutions
Although people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be very successful in life, the symptoms of adult ADHD can put a real strain on relationships. In the early stages of a relationship, people with ADHD may talk too much or find themselves unable to follow the conversation. They may also misread social cues. A person [...]
Talking To Your Teens about Acquaintance Rape
“How could this happen?” The mother on the other end of the phone is distraught. “My son came home a wreck. He said his girlfriend wouldn’t quit coming on to him no matter what he said. He didn’t know what he should do or what he should say. He ended up doing things he [...]
Leave That Pillow Alone!: Better Ways To Deal with Anger
Back in the 1970s, at the height of the human potential movement, encounter groups, and third wave psychology, you couldn’t attend a class or workshop without boffers (cushioned bats) coming into play. We whaled away at pillows, batted at suspended weight bags, made sofa cushions beg for mercy. We were “letting our anger [...]
Friends with Benefits: Can Women Handle It?
Valentine’s Day is looming and you’re single, lonely, sexually frustrated, and generally blue. The whole world seems to be celebrating love’s special day with chocolate and roses and you’re looking forward to an evening with your cat. A friend sympathizes. (Of course, she’s engaged, so what does she know?) Somehow the conversation turns [...]
Signs of a Controlling Guy
Letters like these come in to our “Ask the Therapist” column every week: “My boyfriend freaks out if I go out with my friends for an evening — even though he hangs out with his friends almost every day,” says Angela. “I love my boyfriend to death but he’s always putting me down,” [...]
Why Women Stay with Controlling Men
Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why oh why would [...]
Male and Misunderstood
Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as men. The story is familiar. Adam has been married for 10 years. He goes out of his way [...]